Is the Choice REALLY mine???

warning: major rant!

Sometimes things in life tick me off. I’m pretty sure that I am not the only person who gets ticked off in life; not much in life is easy or fair, and not that much goes our own way… but that is the reality that we live in, and there is so much beauty in diversity and difference and if we stop and complain about everything that rubs up against us in ways that we don’t like, then we can make ourselves pretty miserable. So I try to not let things get to me, especially in an era where we can skim our social media so easily and filter out anything that we don’t like…

But now and then something comes along and I am a bit like a dog with a bone over, and as I was nodding off to sleep I came across this picture (minus everything in red which I added to it afterwards!! … am I allowed to do that? does that infringe copyright laws?) … and I knew that I would spend the next hour or so stewing over it … so I thought rather get this off my chest instead!

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REALLY????? Is the choice REALLY mine to make? It is bad enough that the world media uses sex to sell everything from women’s things to cars, machinery to sport, and everything else in between (it’s late, I couldn’t come up with better examples sorry!), but if ain’t bad enough that we are told what we have to look like when we are young, now women are being told what they need to look like when they are old?!?!?!?!

Even worse are the photos where they say “What’s your excuse?” (as if I have no excuse!!!)

Let’s call the lady on the left Lefticia, and the lady on the right Rightlyn, just to make it easy, ….and let me make a few things abundantly clear before I go any further: Lefticia is clearly beautiful, hard working, and committed, as well as healthy, is probably pretty determined, and has a whole lot of very admirable work ethics, and other wonderful attributes. Also there is NOTHING wrong with being inspired by women who are able to do all kinds of great things … inspire away … just don’t use it as a guilt trip to others!!!!

Rightlyn on the other hand certainly also looks physically unfit… but that is where it ends for me. The photo on the right comes from only one of two sources: It is either staged (and therefore she could well be older than 74, the lighting used accentuate her wrinkles … blah blah blah…. ) or it is a genuine photo pf someone at 74, who really is like that … and then I have a MASSIVE problem with them using this picture as a comparison: At a very basic level, they are showing Lefticia at her very best, and Rightlyn at her very worst! … I think you get the picture and I don’t want this rant to be about how I struggle with the photo ethically…

The point that I want to make here is more about the WORDING!!!! Let me try and make this somewhat brief:

1: I know 74 year olds who work as hard as Lefticia and are as fit and healthy as her, but at 74 their bodies have suffered the ravages of disease (cancer, polio, etc), serious wounds (including burns, surgery, cuts, accidents etc), had their skin stretched and damaged due to carrying many or few, large or small babies but their skin or abdominal muscles became and remained stretched, scarred, broken …. These ravages and scars tell a thousand tales of misery, torture, triumph, failure, loss, agony, heartache, joy … and no matter what they do, these women DO NOT have a choice, and they will NEVER EVER EVER have a body like this!!!!

2: I know 74 year olds who work as hard as Lefticia and are as fit and healthy as her, but because their genes mean that they are stunted and short, or have tiny rib cages or wide strong ones, they have ligaments and muscles that don’t work properly and are not strong enough to carry their own meal to the table much less enough weights to produce those muscles, who work at physio waaaay more hours than Lefticia has put in to a life time, just so they can FUNCTION, let alone be toned or strong, … and so the list of genetic limitations are endless, that mean that no matter what they do, they DO NOT have a choice, and they will NEVER EVER EVER have a body like this!!!!

3: I know plenty of women half this age who’s bodies have been struck by diseases and illnesses, which mean that they may well look whole, but due to paralysis, EDS, MS, and an almost endless list of other life altering conditions and complications, mean that they will never walk again, or run again, or swim again, or carry their children or grandchildren again, that mean that no matter what they do, they DO NOT have a choice, and they will NEVER EVER EVER have a body like Lefticia’s!!!!

4: I know 72 year olds who worked as hard as Lefticia and are as fit and healthy as her, and even looked somewhat like this (I don’t know many, I have to say, but I do have a couple of family members who have worked VERY hard for this), but they pushed themselves too far, and beyond their limits because of this kind of pressure, that at 72 one snapped an Achilles tendon, could not walk for 6 months, and when they were strong enough their shoulder went and as they recovered from shoulder surgery their knee went and they are now waiting for their first knee replacement and they are not yet 74… they were on track to be Leftictia at 74, but at 73, they are permanently pretty immobile, they DO NOT have a choice, and they will NEVER EVER EVER have a body like this again!!!!

5: On the other hand, I also know plenty of 74 years olds who look a lot like Rightlyn. But those wrinkles have been hard earned! They have never been lazy a day in their lives! Slaving over hot stoves and factory jobs to support children with no help from a husband, putting children through school and sleeping four or five hours a night for over half a century! They started hard work at 17 and at 74 this is what is left!! Through absolutely no fault of their own, they DO NOT have a choice, and they will NEVER EVER EVER have a body like Lefticia!!!! They would not even know where to start, and nor do they want to, they are in dire need of REST REST REST … and for many of them, they might LOOK like that, but they have a right to carry such a burden and look back on a life that almost barely had a chance at anything else, and you want to rub Lefticia in their faces and say why do you not choose this?

6: I also know plenty of 74 years olds who look a lot like Rightlyn…. and they have beautiful smiles when they turn around and look at me, and they are rich beyond belief in all the things that ACTUALLY count! They are loved by many, they are wise, they are strong as an ox !!… Who cares what their hair style, clothes choice or skin looks like? To their friends, and loved ones, even their children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren if they have any, they smell and feel and simply “are” everything that is safe, secure, constant, loyal, sweet, tasty, …. and above all everything that is right about the world! … they have CHOSEN to invest their precious time and energy into the things of the world that make the most difference, they CHOOSE not to be Lefticia and for them and all who are loved by them, it is the best choice!

7: This is an obvious one … who does Mother Theresa look more like? Lefticia or Rightlyn?

Come on world … inspire by all means, but stop giving false hope, false guilt, rubbing loss in people’s faces, forcing some values way above others, … do we REALLY need this?????